Hair, Hair, and More Hair…. I was told by a hair dresser a loooong time ago, to never thank your stylist. Just say MORE HAIR and leave a NICE tip. lol I have done that ever since. My hair journey has been through up’s and down’s. Knowing your hair and how to care & feed it is a journey in itself. As a daughter of a black mother and now the mother of black daughters HAIR is a topic that has stages of understanding and examining. It’s funny the things you never really pay that close attention too and just like that…. it is on the lips & finger tips of just about everyone.
The ever so controversial question…. What is good hair? My answer: The kind growing from your scalp. However, even that response can garner some head shakes and side eyes. *sighs* Why has there been a crusade started in order to tell someone what they should consider beauty, good, or just what they should chose to do with the follicles on their heads!
Some stops along the way on my PERSONAL hair journey….
Jerri Curl: I remember getting this treatment when I was young. Not sure what age but very young. It was a very popular hair choice at the time. This was when kids were seen and not heard. I didn’t get asked because my opinion was told to me, I was a child. Curly and easy to manage, I’m sure is what prompted my mother to give the bold hair style a try. And the results at first were all good. I was pleased all that weekend, my mother was pleased, and I received many compliments. Until I didn’t… by the time I went to school the reviews were mixed but not so much negative that it made me uncomfortable. Thankfully, I was secure in my skin and like I stated this had become quite popular so I was not the only person in my school or class for that matter that had their pig tails switched out for greasy curly tresses. One common compliment that I received and quite often, was the color of my hair, it went from brown, to sandy brown to auburn. The fact that it was close to summer and in the sun my hair changing from a darker brown to a lighter brown was not uncommon. As a matter of fact it was normal. The variation is colors since adding the jerri curl was the natural assumption when the tones in my hair were more vibrant, even from my normal sun dyed changes. Then…. Then my hair started thinning. That’s right it began to thin out and eventually it started to come out altogether. The process was a gradual one but each change noticeable. The end result was my mother having my hair cut off in order to cut off the hair that had been treated with the jerri curl perm. I have no idea if this ever happened to anyone else but this was my experience. My aunt & mother continued for many years to style this very same treatment in their heads of hair with no incident. Actually, what it did do was make the hair growing from my mother’s head healthy. In that it was strong, thick, and helped it to grow out. Every style will look different on each person it will have different effects on each person. That is why your hair care journey is your OWN, like so many things in this life. This is not a community vote, nor does majority rule, this is a choice that should be made on what is healthy, what is your goal, what makes you feel good and comfortable; the most important factor is YOU!
After that my natural hair was back in effect. Although much shorter due to the chemical chop it wasn’t something that stood out in my mind as a bad thing to have short hair. Of course that was many years ago… lol I remember the two French braids on either side of my head being the famed style of choice through my younger years.
Press & Curl: This was also common of my childhood but not on a day to day basis. This was a routine that took place on the weekends in my house. I grew up in Spanish Harlem and when I was a little girl my cousins would come over to my house for the weekend a lot from Yonkers. On these weekends our hair was washed, conditioned, and plaited into chucky braids on Friday evening. By Saturday evening those plaits removed from drying and our hair combed, then pressed with a straightening comb that was heated from the flames on top the stove. Each section pressed out from scalp to tip then curled up and secured by pink sponge rollers. Depending on who went last out of the three of us girls determined who would also have to deal with the shortage of rollers. Being the creative people we are and can pretty much make a way out of no way does this stop the show? No, of course not. My aunt who usually took the time to do this would get a paper bag that she saved from the grocery store and tear it into pieces. Each piece she would wind up into a spiral. Those spirals became make shift rollers and rolled up into our hair and folded over for support. More support needed? A bobby pin was used to secure the paper bag roller onto our freshly pressed out hair. When it was all done a stocking cap and scarf was placed on our heads to keep everything in place until the morning.
Even though I have a mixed reactions when recollecting getting my hair pressed… such as holding my ear down to prevent it from the sting from the tip of the scorching hot comb. Or my mother or aunt claiming that they did not burn me yet again with that same comb but that was the heat radiating off the comb not the actual comb making contact with my skin. The after math was bouncy big lock curls that I did not get to wear during the week. It was a Sunday special and it definitely made me feel that way. All dressed up in my Sunday best, with my shiny patent leather shoes, bobby socks, and perfectly pressed hair in curls.
As time passed and hair fads, faded in and out… I moved onto a new ways to wear my braids….
Extensions:was the perfect way to style your hair and maintain the style for an extended period of time, while giving your natural tresses a break from chemicals, heat, the elements, and just day to day wear and tear. This is usually a sure fire way to grow your hair out while sporting a ready-to-go doo. I STILL will wear this style from time to time but this is the preferred style for my youngest daughter. She has never had a perm and we either do her hair in two strands twist or extensions. Her hair is healthy, strong, and thick. I hope she continues to style her hair in ways that promote healthy growth while still feeling free to explore new ways express herself. I have to say this will always be at the TOP of my hair style list. For so long I paid a hair dresser to achieve this look for me and then I had to pay someone to braid my daughter’s hair as well, some beauty shop hair dressers and some kitchen beauticians. However, through the power of the internet, I taught myself how to braid extensions by watching instructional videos on YouTube. One of the BEST things I have done. The money I save doing my girls hair myself is well worth it. I have not tried to braid my own just yet though. I am very much still an amateur but good enough to keep my little girls hair done at all times. As I got older new ways to style hair became available and I dared to try the long and luxurious styles….
Weaves:With weaves there are so many options. Sew-ins & Glue are the only two that I am familiar with, I have tried each. Personally if I am going to wear a weave I prefer sew-in. My reason is because I think styling your hair to suite YOUR mood, to express YOURSELF, and try something new, it should not come at the cost of damaging your natural hair. Hair glue can damage your natural hair if not applied correctly. It can pull it from the root or cause clumps that need to be cut out if washing does not work. Of course this is not always or even a frequent occurrence but it does occur. Just like proper care for extensions is must in order to maintain a healthy head of hair. When I used to wear a weave, a sew in was a must. To me that was the easiest way to achieve my hair style of choice with minimal damage to my natural hair. This was/is a way to explore with colors & new styles without putting your own hair through the paces. I have to say this and a pony-tail was my hair style of choice through my early 20’s. Hair, like with so many things is a journey. You have to go through the paces and see what works best for you. Now my preferred style of choice is one that I once scoffed at….
Wigs:I remember watching “Living Single” and Regine had a wig for every mood. I was not wearing hair pieces at this time but I remember thinking she made what I once thought was an older woman’s doo, something fashionable and accessible. I have gone through some drastic styles with my wig collection.Short, long, super long, brown, bronze, red, highlights, streaks, curly, wavy, layers, bobs, bangs, afro’s, tight curls, loose curls, big bodacious hair, to sleek sophisticated styles,and the list really could be a blog all on its own… lol I LOVE a god wig. What is really appealing to me is the versatility without the damage to my hair. That is a common theme throughout this blog. My ultimate goal was always to maintain my natural hair without being limited to the choices that I wanted to make in terms of styling. When I first decided to see how a wig would work on me it was not out of my sheer obsession with switching styles without completing sheading the strength of each strand of hair that grew from my scalp. It was because of a mishap with a kitchen beautician....
Perms/Relaxers:I was once a fan a good relaxer. I still have no issues with this style of choice. It is just a phase I went through and now I am beyond. When I was getting my hair permed on a regular basis I was a fiend for the creamy crack, it was usually done by a hair dresser ALONE. I had a stylist that I loved and she took excellent care of my hair. However, I had a friend that was going to continental <----- that is a cosmetology school and offered to relax my hair for me at home no charge. He needed the practice and I sure never minded saving some money. So, right there in a mutual friend’s kitchen, among other friends and alcoholic beverages I sat there and allowed him to section my hair, apply the lye relaxer, & repeat until my entire hair was covered. I sat still until the chemicals began to irritate my scalp and then came the burn. If you have ever had a relaxer you know EXACTLY what I mean. We then proceeded to the sink to rinse the relaxer out of my hair. All seemed to be going just fine. After several rinses I assumed everything was going as it should. I was wrong, through the styling process my hair was coming out. As I ran my hands through my hair, strands had collected on my fingertips. The more I pulled the more came out. I began to freak out. Why on earth was my hair coming out in such significant amounts? Come to find out after I damn near lost my mind, my kitchen beautician forgot to add the neutralizer when relaxing and washing my hair. This forgotten step caused my hair to thin as a result. As a protective measure I began to style my hair in styles that allowed my hair to essentially rest. Like braids, sew-ins and wigs. Braids & wigs just so happen to be the two that I liken too the most. Not every dollar saved is a good one. IF this relaxer is your style of choice ALWAYS have a professional do it. Lesson learned the hard way. All in All through my hair care journey I have taken time to explore many options. Some really did justice to me and some not so much but that is the price we pay I guess. There is no right way, style, or treatment for EVERYONE’S hair. Everyone’s head of hair is different and will require different things in order for it to reach the level of maintainability that is BEST for YOU. I could also explore hair products but that is still a journey I have not mastered. Although I do have favorites that I use to keep my daughter tresses lovely, even from my head of hair, to both my daughters to my mother we all require much different things in terms of healthy hair. This, to me should be the goal at the end of the day. I was prompted to write this blog because I have seen a line being drawn in the sand regarding what is BEAUTIFUL in terms of BLACK WOMEN and their HAIR STYLE of choice. NATURAL seems to be extremely popular as of late and I can see why. I consider myself to be all natural, since I have not permed/relaxed my hair in over 10 years. More than a decade since my creamy crack debacle and since I have worn my hair in its natural state and when I desire something different I use either extensions and/or wigs to achieve that. Does the fact that I like wigs make me LESS pro-natural? Well, I was told…. Yes it does! That the natural movement means, just that, NO artificial hair or chemicals. I thought it was a bit bogus but who am I to say how a movement will be defined. Therefore, my suggestion if define YOU and your OWN movement. It’s really all about what works for YOU not the masses! Personally I really have no desire to tell the next person what is acceptable. I don’t think wearing weave means you want to be something you are not, and I don’t think rocking an afro makes your mother earth. Those things are not defined by hair alone…. I think however you decide to do your doo, it should make you happy when you look in the mirror, make you confident when you strut down the street, and be the choice you made based on your hair care journey, whether that isKinky, Corse or Straight and HOWEVER you choose to achieve that or ALL of those options….
“I am not my hair” ~India Arie
By Elizabeth Funderbirk